A Good Feeling...

Sometimes I feel aimless. Sometimes I feel like I am not making a difference in anybody's life and feel like the people that I am trying to help just have their ears plugged and don't want to listen. But tonight I don't feel like that.

I have been spending time with a young woman lately. She is just out of high school and is so sweet and fun and has a heart for God and we have some definite similarites. It has been so refreshing getting to spend time with her and talk and get to know eachother. And I definitely feel like this is a God thing. She is in a similar place emotionally as I was at her age, and I feel like God is really giving me the opportunity to speak into her life as a friend. It's just really good when you can see God's hand in something. It might not be earth shattering or anything, but I still see God's hand in it, and it is good. Being able to feel like I am being used, even if it's just a small way, is wonderful and humbling...I like seeing God's hand in things :)

Just a little something....

This is going to be short and sweet. At least that is my intention. I hope that I am able to stay short :)

I was just looking at my blog page and was looking at the photo I have there with my title. I really love that photo. I found it on the internet, but it is so perfect I think. It rings of hope to me. That there is always promise, there is always hope. Even when things look dark, ominous & discouraging...I am tired and am not the most eloquent at the moment, but the picture made me smile. I was listening to A Picture of Your Love today(not good when you are doing your make up and on the verge of tears while worshiping!)and this picture reminds me of this song:

Your love is the rock that I cling to.
Your name is the tower that I run into.
Your strength is what lives my head when it's bowed low.
Your song is the light that sines through my window.

And like the sun after all the rain is gone,
The morning without any cloud comes.
With a picture of your love.
And when I think of the stars so high over me,
The moon in the darkness lets everyone see
A picture of your love.

After the Rain has fallen.
...the sweetest name remains on my soul.
After the rain has fallen, after the clouds all role away,
...the sweetest name remains on my soul.

Cause you faithful, your always the same.
Your faithful, know you never change.
Your faithful, your always good. always good.

Though I walk through the valley of shadow of death,
I have no doubt, you have already gone ahead.
My fire by night, my cloud by day.
Though ten thousand fall to my right and my left,
under the shadow of the most high, I find rest.
My fire by night, my cloud by day.

Nevertheless...

I am reading a book, nothing hyper spiritual or earth shattering. Just a novel about an Amish girl who leaves her community because of some terribly tragic things that happened to her. Anyway, that is beside the point.

At the end of the book she heard a voice say to her, amidst her grief, Nevertheless.
Tragedy strikes, nevertheless...
Life is not always what you expect, nevertheless...
Relationships fail, nevertheless...
People hurt you, nevertheless...
You feel broken, nevertheless...
You feel empty, nevertheless...

The list can go on and on. Fill in the blank. But I started thinking about that word, nevertheless. Never the less. I have heard that word plenty, I understand the meaning. But I have never REALLY thought about it.

Nevertheless means that what is coming is NEVER in subjection to what has happened. NEVER. That encourages me!

My family is in tatters, nevertheless God is good! Nevertheless healing can come!

God's goodness is never the less to our circumstances. Thank you Lord for that!

I don't always feel like a daughter of God, a friend sure, but a daughter? NEVERTHELESS, he calls me child. And calls me. And calls me. And never gives up.

I feel unworthy, nevertheless, God says I am.

What is your nevertheless today?

Clinging

Have you ever clung on to something or someone? Held on so tight in fear of losing what you love? Or maybe you cling to it, not out of love, but because it is all you have ever known. The fear of letting go of what you hold so tightly to can cripple you. It makes you doubt everything you know is true. Even common sense can fly out the window when you are desperately clinging. You grasp and cling until it is excruciating. But the very thought of letting go is more painful than that caused by holding on....and then something happens. Something that causes you to instantly open your hands and let go. But instead of relief you find that what you were holding onto has broken like delicate glass in your hands, leaving shards embedded in your skin. And you know that it will be impossible to remove every fragment of glass and the wounds are so deep you will always bear the scars of what was once whole and is now irrevocably shattered. Even if you heal, you are forever marked. And the remnant will always be there reminding you again and again.

Here Goes Nothing....

So, this is my first blog entry. I never thought I would do a blog and here I am jumping on the bandwagon. I am not sure what this will look like. I don't know what all I will write about. I don't even know why I am doing this! I think this will be a great outlet to write and release and think "out loud"....and yet I need to really grasp that anybody, anywhere can read this. How much will I share? How much do I want to share? There is great freedom in transparency and openness, but there is also great risk....I think I will need to weigh and measure the gift and the risk each time I write :) But this is just a post to get things started. To say "Here I am blog world, ready or not!" So, I will begin pondering what to blog. Life is beautiful, life is messy and we are a broken people trying to make sense of the good, the bad, and all that goes with it. I guess that is what I will be writing about.